Monday, May 26, 2008


Once I was said, "Best ideas come from others". That was neither aghast revelation, nor a cliche got rid of dust. Ideas. They penetrate our brain cells, and move them. Modify them, lead them in different direction, and what is most important different dimension. Darker dimension, dimension yet undiscovered, unrevealed, unknown. And yes, that is in what I believe . Brain cells copulation, doomed melody of unsecured spaceline, avalanche of priceless ideas. Road to somewhere else. Fareaway from the one you think you will be following. Collision of two different discourses, and their combination. Mixture like a painted picture. Makes sense as a whole, as a result, as a consequence, we realize its eminent impact. Discourse leads us further without conscious endeavor.How ideas are bound with emotions, this is more than a plausible hypothesis. Vicious circle creates another one, one becomes perplexed.
I would love to tell you, I have my own thoughts not afflicted by emotions. This is the unitary entity of an invidual, when emotions hardly can be separate from ideas, because cooperation and constant calamity brings about just fog above. And we are physiologically predisposed, or restrained, to have a certain set or repertoir of emotional , as well as cognitive processes.
This sounds so fatal, so deterministic, so prisonry.
Unless one realizes the power of will, I'd say free will as Hobbes or many others would refer to, even though will is always free. I am very glad for the will, is it the only capacity that makes us free humans?

Monday, May 12, 2008

listen to the raindrops
played by piano keyboard
cry cry and cry
out of that polluted heart
silently within
the keynotes
find myself
as a prisoner of love

Sunday, May 11, 2008

ode for misery

we always will, always will , be lonely
till that while will come the while will come
when disguise will shovelled, just shovelled be
then we will die, will die

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

we all are just beggars for life...

When life comes heavy, and meaningless as we sense the imminent approaching of death, one might wonder what comes to play to decide for euthanasis. Is it the strenght or weakness of a person? Is it an unbearable intensity of one's own suffering? Isn't life per se just a battlefield where we are wound, and healed, and wound, and wound again, without healing. Suicide is basically a mental euthanasis, as I think. One suffer mentally in such a great extend, that the universe is not universal anymore, one doesn't find the roots of own identity within it. I often wonder, how people, as often seen senselessly, decide for the end of their life. We disdain it, but who is the possessor, the owner of our own physical, and mental cage? WHo? You? Who ELSE? No hands raised?
But who is here to say that we euthanasis as a consequence of perceived and experienced physically, and as a result also mentally unbearable state of pain is somehow allowed. Society has decided to agree with that at least. How come that mental suffering followed by suicide is it is not even considered..
I am not here to say that when one feel mentally on the edge of bearable threshold of pain, one should end life. I am not encouraging it, but rather to say, that the way it is perceived and regarded by society is just a creation of society, and we passively take it as a social construct of ours. The is an insidious danger when regarding reality as an ultimately real phenomenon. And we are disposed by filter when regarding it. Filter created by society, culture, past experiences, history, and history again, and you too. You are also an influencing factor of my filter. This little slate of mind is one omnipotent calory, as being used and being feasted, its engine help us understand and predict the reality. And as shown above in case of suicide also misunderstanding, and toward-social-pressure-and-scoial-constructs vulnerable piece. To use it, means to shape it more and more dynamically, as a roller coaster spinns over and over, and every turn is not the previous one. (So there is nothing repeated twice, because just time makes different when it is described linguistically as previous, current, next).

To be honest, I often feel desperate, possitively, or negativelly. Yes, I really mean possitively desperate. As I stand, speachless, at the edge of a huge conundrum called LiFe. Or The Earth. Or life on the earth. We all are pretty fortunate to be able to witness:
evening sky mourning. trees blooming and getting hollow. meeting the eyes. the energy around, the eminency of mother earth, and her vices.

But as we come to a closer look, we see, we all are connected by sharing the soil, the one poor witnessing garden of tears, battlefields of spiritual fights, the place of embraced beauties.

I guess, I intended to talk about euthanasis, and the right for renouncing this earthy connection. I came far far from that idea. But this is a sort of therapy for me. I write as my thoughts are popping out, forgetting some of those fighting for asserting their own words. And the same way, as every single thought is fighting for being a significant one, we fight with the earth, with life, to leave our trace, our own artwork, forgetting that the earth has a sandy quality.

With love to the earth,and to you,